Tough times shape you, and when you work through them, it helps you better understand how healthy relationships work. Audrey Hope, relationship counselor and addiction specialist, tells Bustle how 'baggage' can positively shape your relationship: 'You had some traumas that taught you to create healthy boundaries. For example, if your ex cheated on you, you learned the signs and now will no longer stay too long at the party. The hurt has inspired you to make healthy boundaries, like... I will not allow anyone to treat me badly.'