Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello’s marriage was ‘impacted’ by his SOBRIETY, friend of the couple reveals – as addiction experts say the relationship between the couple was ‘doomed from the start’ because of their differing lifestyles.
- Joe, 46, and Sofia, 51, confirmed that they had split after seven years on Monday
- Now, a source has claimed that her drinking ‘had an impact’ on their marriage
- Experts also weighed in, and they said relationships like that ‘never work’
- READ MORE: Inside the VERY tarnished love life of TV’s golden girl Sofia Vergara
Sobriety experts have revealed how Joe Manganiello’s sobriety may have played a major role in the breakdown of his marriage from Sofia Vergara – as a source close to the couple detailed the significant ‘impact’ that their different lifestyles had on their relationship.
Speaking to DailyMail.com, one insider revealed that 46-year-old Joe – who has been sober for 21 years and has been candid about his past struggles with alcohol addiction – was ‘warned’ about getting into a serious relationship with someone who was not actively sober.
‘Of course the fact that Sofia is not sober had an impact on their marriage,’ the source said.
‘He was warned about this when he started dating her and again before marrying her. He did not think that he was going to change her but he also didn’t think about the implications this could have on their marriage.’
The Modern Family star, 51, and the Magic Mike alum confirmed on Monday that they had split after seven years of marriage on Monday evening, announcing in a statement that they had ‘made the difficult decision to divorce‘ but still ‘love and care for one another.’
A second source close to the former couple insisted that Sofia – who often shares images of herself drinking alcohol on her social media accounts – ‘could not have been more supportive’ of her estranged husband’s sobriety.
However, several experts have now told DailyMail.com that relationships between a sober person and someone who still consumes alcohol rarely work out, no matter how ‘supportive’ the latter might be.
Joe and Sofia first started dating in August 2014 and tied the knot just over a year later in November 2015, during a stunning Florida wedding attended by 400 friends and family members.
When the couple met, Joe had been sober for 12 years, having made the decision to quit alcohol back in 2002.
Speaking about his sobriety in a 2019 interview, the actor candidly opened up about how he turned to alcohol to avoid ‘dealing’ with his problems, admitting that he became ‘broken beyond the point of being fixed’.
While Joe has now been sober for more than two decades, one addiction expert told DailyMail.com that alcohol always remains a ‘trigger’ for those in recovery – which can lead to serious troubles in a marriage when one of the spouses still drinks.
Katrina Patersen, an addiction specialist nurse from Dallas, Texas, said she thinks Joe and Sofia’s marriage was ‘doomed to fail from the start’ and said that being exposed to anyone drinking alcohol may well have ‘made Joe’s fight to stay sober that much harder.’
‘No one overcomes addiction, sobriety is something that you need to work at every day of your life,’ she explained.
‘It is a disease and when people close to you are exposing you to triggers. it is going to make the fight to stay sober that much harder.
‘For Joe and Sofia, it is not like a casual dinner with friends where someone has a drink and you do not. In a marriage, it is always in your face, and he was reminded of it constantly.
‘That sort of stress and pressure will eventually build up and start affecting other areas of your daily life.
‘Although two people don’t have to be sober to make a relationship with, they do need to have a firm and respectful boundary.
‘If she is drinking in front of him (which she did and flaunted on her IG) or if she kept alcohol in the house, that is a problem.
‘If she had a gambling addiction, he would not likely take her to the casino. Their marriage was a very slippery slope. She was dangling a carrot in front of him.
‘The only difference is that this carrot can destroy everything that he has and everything that he loves about his life.
Certified addiction and trauma counselor Audrey Hope compared the relationship between a sober and a non-sober person to the dynamic between two people who ‘live in a different city’ or ‘speak a different language’ from their partner.
‘When one person is sober and the other is not it is like you are living in different cities, it is like you are speaking different languages, and it is like you are trying to communicate when one is on top of a hill and the other is in a cave,’ she explained.
‘It can never work because when a person is working on sobriety every sense is trying to heal.
‘For example, if your partner has been drinking you can smell it. It is hard enough making a life decision to change and you don’t need someone in your orbit who can influence you.’
Audrey, who is based in Los Angeles, California, called it ‘very rude’ and ‘very unfair’ to drink around someone who is actively working on their sobriety.
She added: ‘It is selfish, and other issues in the marriage will surface. Divorce happens because of selfishness, not being considerate or kind, and living in denial.
‘As an addiction therapist for over 20 years, when one partner is in rehab and the other refuses to stop, it is only a matter of time before one goes back to drinking or you call a lawyer.’
Joe cut out all alcohol in 2002, which means he’s now been sober for 21 years. He’s been very open about his journey, and has spoken at a slew of drug and alcohol prevention events over the years.
He opened up to Men’s Health about his decision to stop drinking in 2019, and he explained, ‘There was a point where I really thought I was broken beyond the point of being able to be fixed.
‘Drinking was a way for me not to have to deal with me. And I think that acting was a way for me to not have to be me either.
‘So I could go onstage and not be me, come offstage and go to the bar and not be me. Rinse and repeat.
‘I needed to really look in the mirror and get honest with myself about the man that I wasn’t becoming.’
At the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Drug Prevention’s 13th annual Summer Spectacular Event one year prior, he said he’s so outspoken about it because he wants to help end the ‘stigma’ surrounding addition.
‘When I was growing up, when I thought of an alcoholic, I thought of some toothless old guy in a trench coat in a basement somewhere,’ he said.
‘I just never thought that would apply to me. That type of stigma kept me from getting the help that I needed when I knew I needed it.’
Sofia and Joe confirmed that their marriage was coming to an end on Monday. They said in a statement: ‘We have made the difficult decision to divorce.
‘As two people that love and care for one another very much, we politely ask for respect of our privacy at this time as we navigate this new phase of our lives.’
When their split was first revealed, a separate source told DailyMail.com that the two had drifted apart due to their ‘different attitudes.’
They dished: ‘Joe is a big kid, he loves playing Dungeons & Dragons, he loves wrestling, he is all about video games, superhero movies, comic books, going to concerts, huge NFL fan. He chases fun.
‘He always loves being out and about and just having a good time. And then when it is time to be serious and when it is time to get to work, he turns on that part of himself, but he is always ready to live life to the fullest and go out and just be fun and have fun.
‘This was immediately an attraction for Sofia who is completely the opposite, sure she loves having a good time and going out, but she is more concerned with the finer things in life, the trips, lavish dinners, being a celebrity, and everything that comes with all of that.
‘She has been told her entire life she is super-hot and beautiful. It really has got to her head.
‘She also has a temper and gets upset over stupid things very easily whereas Joe tries to let things bounce off of him and go with the flow.
‘That was not really seen while they were falling in love, but then the true versions of themselves started showing and they just got annoyed with each other, choosing work over hanging out.
‘Then bit by bit, they stopped wanting to be together and stopped hanging out because something so little would often trigger an attitude that would bug them, just their attitudes on everything were completely different and something like that is extremely draining for a relationship and they got to the point where it would be a good day and one thing would be said or done and they would just get upset with each other.
‘It added up to where now it is easier and more relaxing not being together. When people say they will be friendly, they will, but the romance part of things is over. They grew a part from something that could have been really good.’