TRAUMA AS DIVINE FIRE
If only we could vacuum out our pain and suck it out of our bodies and minds forever! This is the true goal of all healing and therapy- to dump the baggage, to delete the memory records and stop the tapes that play over and over again in our heads. Peace can only happen through “alchemical transformation,” a kind of “trauma exorcism” that deletes the files that make us suffer. The endgame is to become the butterfly, to bless the troubles of the caterpillar but to let the pain fuel a new state of being. Our computers must be rebooted and energetic wounds must exit in a divine fire.
There are many different types of emotional trauma, but they are all the same in the bottom line- in that human beings cannot run, hide, deny, or silence the monster that is lurking in the closet of the soul. If you try to put a blanket or curtain over the demon, time will only make the energy fester and grow, until it shows up in a weird way at a weird unexpected time, to freak you out because it will look like something else. The doctors might diagnose you with an illness, label you depressed and help you mask the anxiety with drugs, but you will really be suffering from the reality of life and the pressure of keeping the monster silent in the cave. Often it is unprocessed trauma that makes us sick.
Trauma is like a nuclear bomb living inside your little body. It is a toxic energy that we try to distract by everyday living and frequent visits to a therapist, to talk it down. You will possibly be able to write a thesis on your story, and become an expert on why you feel bad, but the healing will never take place only in the mind. There must be a real big external primal release of the energy. Trauma hits us on a feeling level- it freezes us, builds a wall around our hearts and poisons our dreams. It works like invisible gas.
You cannot talk nicely to your trauma. The danger is to say, I am fine or it happened so long ago, and then to try to go on with your life while the bomb is ticking. We are slaves chained to our bad experiences.
It Is important to know that our mind and hearts are like two unalike countries, when it comes to the language of trauma. We must respect the difference and honor the anger and rage for what it is. You can’t pretend it is not here. You can’t store it away. You can’t rationalize it. You can’t judge it or shame it or be mean to it. You have to allow yourself to feel what you feel. You have to make the space and time to do the healing and respect the process. You have to find a healer who can help you safely scream, shout it out, cry, and get the pain to leave your body. Healing is about bringing everything into the light of truth and the truth sets us free.
As a therapist and spiritual healer for over 20 years I have searched for revolutionary keys to healing. With spiritual soul perspective you get to understand a new manual of the game of life. We learn the higher truth, that we are here in earth’s classroom to learn our lessons, to become our best selves and to and rise like phoenix from the ashes. We crucify to resurrect. This is the journey and we must all follow the yellow brick road and know like Dorothy in Oz, the answer we seek is in our own shoes, no matter what has happened to us. Like Victor Frankl in A SEARCH FOR MEANING, we can find meaning anywhere – even in the most horrible of circumstances. He found it in a concentration camp by helping people.
With spiritual sight we can begin to see pain in new way, as a divine wake up call, an imitation by fire, a call for transformation. On our knees we begin to look up. We go through pain to end pain, and like Joseph Campbell has said, where we stumble their lies our treasure. Like we go the gym to strengthen our muscles, we go through trauma to become stronger. This is the way of it. Healing spiritually is to do the great work, to return from the dark night of the soul enriched. Life is alchemy, everything dissolves, separates, unites again but gets purified in the process.
We begin a healing journey by deciding to do whatever it takes to live a healthy life. (like a man whose hair is on fire seeks a pond, says Ramakrishna). It is to be brave enough to walk through firing flames of purification. It is to dare to look in the face of the dragon and open the closet of your past. It is to heal the soul wound, the place where all the pain began, (between ages 5-8), where you abandoned yourself and lost your spirit. Unless you heal at the root of the root of the soul, you will create home and spin around and around and meet the same issues, characters and themes.
The powerful transformation point of healing is to know the soul crime is that we abandon ourselves in trauma. It is not what others do to us that is the problem but what we do to ourselves because of them. And so, the power we possess, that waits on no one and does not ask for permission, is a soul retrieval, a decree that we get to reclaim the energy we gave away or was taken. Spiritual healing is about activating our light, our essential power that we were born with.
When loss happens, the soul usually asks what did I do, why me? How could this happen? In spiritual healing, these are the wrong questions- instead it I to ponder, what am I being prepared for? Why must I need all this strength and courage for my future? How will these events change me and inspire me to grow?
Trauma can kill you, destroy you, and take you down and drive you to madness. It will crack open your heart to let the light in, and leave you helpless on your knees. But you will never be the same, if you can survive it.
In this prophetic age of Aquarius; everything must come out into the light for healing. Pain is a doorway an invitation to ascend- within us individually and as a nation.
