My friend is recently single and she laments how difficult it is to find a good guy. She goes on and on about how old she is, how horrible the guys are, and how it is just too late for her. I beg her to change her mind and her attitude and to be positive.
It made me think of the hundreds of women who THINK the same way when they start dating and the damaging beliefs they hold. Some of the concepts are from another decade, yet are still with us today! You would think with all our cultural evolution we would have changed, but we have not!
I decided to make a list of what NOT to think when dating.
- GUYS WANT YOUNGER WOMEN. Women buy into this belief system right away after they are newly single. They put men in a category – that guys want “hotties” and younger women. This belief system has at its core the damaging idea that men are more powerful than them and they are at the bottom of the totem pole. It is time to stop perpetuating a cultural myth that has left women in the dust for centuries. Women need to change this belief system and get into the reality of how fabulous they are at any age. Stop giving energy to the patriarchal mentality. If women don’t stop this, who will?
- IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME. The truth is we are living longer. 60 is the new 40. We are learning so much from our experiences that with the right attitude, you can find the best part of your life after lessons are learned, the divorce is final, and the kids are grown. It is all what you believe. Positivity is a great medicine. It will keep you young and do wonders for your body and soul. Spiritually, we are what we believe.
- MEN JUST WANT TO FOOL AROUND AND NOT GET SERIOUS. I have been a relationship healer for almost 20 years and I am amazed at the truth about men and what they really want. If only women knew. Men want love just as much as women. They remember the women who nurtured them and support them. They just hold in their insecurities and their true feelings. Our society does not really embrace the sensitive man. He has no place to go to share his feelings. The truth is men want great love and a committed relationship. SHARE THE SECRET!!!
- MEN HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER AND I DON’T. Women have to work on their insecurities. When the guy doesn’t call, she automatically thinks it is her fault. She blames everything on herself. She doesn’t know that men are vulnerable around strong women and often scared to open up for fear of getting hurt. Women need to heal their insecurities and heal their hearts, so they can see things in their proper perspective and not let men hurt them.
- I’LL NEVER MEET ANYONE – ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN. I can’t even tell you the amount of stories I have heard about people finding soulmates later in life. Just the other day, there was a wedding celebration and the woman was 80 years old. Her husband had passed away and she married her neighbor who she always had a crush on. She is happier than she ever was in her life. Men are everywhere. Open up to the beauty of this concept.
- I HAVE TO SETTLE. We never have to settle for crumbs and make deals with ourselves for fear of being alone. This is ridiculous. In the spiritual energy of manifestation, the law of attraction brings to you the exact frequency you hold. Start experimenting with the new ideas, the power of spiritual energy, and watch what happens.
- I DON’T GO OUT – HOW CAN I MEET SOMEONE? The truth is we meet someone in the energy of surrender and allowance. It can happen anywhere and anytime. The important thing is not to block it with negativity. Start imaging what you want, and become your list! If you want a man to respect you, then respect yourself. If you want a man to love you, then love yourself.
Change your mind. Change your life.
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