Do you make excuses for other people’s behavior? Here’s the thing: you’re hurt, you’re suffering, and you say to yourself with spiritual perception of love and compassion and forgiveness, ‘They didn’t mean it. They didn’t intend to do it. I know they are suffering. I know they had like a bad childhood.’ And so what you’re actually doing spiritually is you’re taking it on. You are doing the work for them. You are going to school for them. You are karmically taking on their luggage. And that is not our job. We cannot fix anyone, and we cannot go to school for anyone. We need to become healthy and well, which means to live in reality and to call it out as it is.
This person is cruel. This person is abusive. This person hurt me. And this is the beginning of getting well – to be like a New Yorker in a New York kind of spirituality. This is the way it is. Now, we might have done this technique of taking it on as a child, and we had to because perhaps we were trying to get through something terrible, some kind of trauma. So we needed to turn it and put it on ourselves, and maybe to become the best person that we can be, which is the beginning of perfectionism. But now, as we heal it, we call it out. We become a straight shooter, and we don’t karmically carry the load for someone else.
And so this is a great thing to finally take care of oneself and say, ‘This is Scotch tape. This is what it is, and I am not pretending, denying it, hiding it, or being so loving and compassionate.’ Because you know, sometimes the wrong person is in rehab. You’re actually there because you have taken on what someone else doesn’t want to see. And so we’re going to set this right by calling it out and not denying what we actually see and know.