Have you lost a loved one? Wished you had done more? Death is hard enough, but when you marry it with guilt, the suffering is just unbearable My next show is a very personal one for me, experiencing the depths of despair after the sudden loss of my best friend. It is my gift to offer comfort and relief on a deeper spiritual soul perspective.
Grief is a heavy toxic energy like no other, as if a hurricane is living inside your little body and you can’t be rational about it, as it needs to be honored as the explosive energy that it is. Grief is raw, real and raging. You can’t hold it in, drug it, hide it or pretend it is not there. Grief will drive you to madness and make you sick and you have to survive it. Grief is the – I should have, could have, would have, if only I had, then he/she wouldn’t have…. This is spiritually incorrect because the hardest lesson we all have to learn about being here is:
Every person is on their own soul path, in their own classroom in earth school
- We are not meant to interfere
- We are not to take on another people’s karma
- We are not meant to sacrifice
- We can’t save anyone
When someone dies what they wish for, more than anything else, the greatest gift you can give them is NOT TO SUFFER. And you don’t want to hold them back from the next part of their journey.
Here is how we can heal grief:
- Honor the process and the pain/allow without judgement
- Honor the anger – all parts to it – at god, at the situation, at people dying, your dying, at life itself. Don’t mask this truth.
- Get real, raw, ugly, and don’t just be nice. There is unfinished business, things left unsaid.
- Grief comes in waves, you can feel ok one moment and horrible the next.
- Release, externalize the feelings, and keep this up moment by moment, day by day until it finishes
- Say I forgive myself over and over and then again
Practical wisdom
- Don’t make major life changes or decisions
- Don’t make heavy life decision
- Never say to a grieving person- it’s going to be okay, the person is in a better place
- Instead say- I love you, I care about you and I am here for you.
Know you will be forever changed. You will honor the sacredness of life, begin to realize what is important and stop taking life for granted.
Grief is madness but guilt is spiritually wrong. We are not here to be anyone’s keeper. We are here to live our lives in truth and inspire and invite others to do the same.
